harmony/discord
Welcome to Mommy’s El Camino.
Today’s post was going to be a list of the books I’ve read since January, with some commentary and quotes. But then yesterday I walked into a building, gave a seminar, and when I walked out, I learned that the U.S. had bombed Iran.
What was strange for me yesterday when I entered the building was that I realized I had graduated from the institution that lives in this building back in 2002. Twenty-three years ago I got an MFA, and now I was back to give a lecture and do a reading. You know what else I was doing back in 2002? 2003? If you were alive then, you probably remember the similarity of events. Back then it was Iraq. Today it’s Iran.
The night before the campus visit, I dreamed of a person who took up a lot of my psyche in 2002. That was also strange.
The tattoo I got as a graduation gift to myself in 2002 was a design I conjured after holding onto an illustration of a black cat running that I found in either The Stranger (Seattle) or the LA Weekly. I combined it with a simple image of fire in the background, and the words concordia discors. If you do an internet search of those words now, there are numerous explications, more so than in 2002. I had lifted the phrase from a now lost book. In my understanding, I was imprinting a message on myself as a reminder: harmony in discord. To take all the discordance of existence and live in a kind of harmony with it or despite it. To embody harmony in the face of discord.
Twenty-three years later I can’t say I have entirely embodied this.
It is totally wild to experience a repetition of history that we’re living through, only it’s somehow worse than it was in 2003. I can point to chapters in both Hollywood Notebook and Bruja where I wrote of what was happening then, in my dreams and in waking life, and it’s clearly similar and reflective of what’s happening now.
Is harmony in discord possible? It seems like a lifelong question, for me, at least.
Stay safe, help keep your neighbors safe, and I hope you find your harmony amid the tremendous discord.
Jax Connelly and I talked about my book Excavation over at Heavy Feather Review. Jax opens the interview with a great essay—check it out.
Mattilda Berstein Sycamore and I recently talked about the reissues of my books over at Foglifter.
Ben Tanzer and I talked about writing, books, and more for This Podcast Will Change Your Life.
New York: I will be reading at the Franklin Park Reading Series on Monday, July 14th. More details to come.
