I’m thinking a lot about The Chronology of Water, the new film directed by Kristen Stewart, based on the book by Lidia Yuknavitch. There’s a chance we may go see it in a theater tomorrow, and there’s a chance I might not leave the house because I’ve left the house every day for five days straight. I’m thinking about it because a lot of promo is showing up in my instagram feed, and I’m thrilled to see it enter my algorithm so hard.

I remember when I finished reading the book. We were living in our apartment in Mid-City, and I was, strangely and unexpectedly, pretty much a stay-at-home-mother, therapist intern, and writer, yearning to get back to work on my longest project, the text of what would become Excavation. I went online and looked up how to get in touch with Lidia and emailed her to ask if she’d come read in Los Angeles at my reading series, Rhapsodomancy. She said yes.

Many if not most people you know who’ve read TCOW have extremely strong feelings about the book and many if not most became hardcore fans of Lidia. I’m one of them. I have done possibly aggressive things, like asked Lidia to please be my mentor, even offering her a monthly amount of what I could afford (I think it was $100) for her time. Eventually she agreed to working with a small group of writers, all of whom were thrilled to work with her, and I got my wish. This was before Lidia began her Portland-based Corporeal Writing (which I taught a workshop at once). I’ve read alongside Lidia, and when I desperately feel the need to, I text her (I’m so very very careful in respecting the time and energy of other writers, especially ones who, like me, are sensitive introverts).

Anyway, I hope I make it to see TCOW on the screen and hope you do, too. The film also got me thinking about how as readers we may wish for the books we love to become films, or tv. And, of course, as writers many of us have hopes of adapting our books (essays, poems, manifestos, etc.) into film. In my own experience, there was the thrill from the email from Creative Artists Agency inquiring if Excavation was available to be optioned; the conversations with the famous director who had me meet with her assistant to discuss the possibility of optioning; the random email from a producer asking if it was available to be optioned; the email conversations between my former film/tv agent and various media production companies discussing why they chose not to option (such a bummer, Village Roadshow, Tribeca Productions, Anonymous Content, and Clea Duvall!!); another producer out of film school asking if Excavation was available to be optioned; and most recently, a couple of Zoom conversations with a Mexican director who wanted to option it, if her producers agreed. As you might have guessed, none of these scenarios panned out. I deleted many of the emails that had caused me so much excitement from the mere possibility of seeing my book become a film, in part because I understand now, after all these years, that to get the movie made based on the book is practically a miracle. A miracle of timing, funding, people you know, and all of the many other forces in place that make it difficult to get any movie or tv show made. Especially so if it’s a story outside of the dominant culture’s idea of story, and manner of storytelling. If you start looking at the year a book was published and if/when the movie gets made based on the book, not including bestsellers with automatic film/tv options, of course, it’s often many years between. I haven’t read all of the interviews, but I’ve read and heard enough from Kristen Stewart talking about the making of TCOW to know that she faced a number of hurdles in getting the film made, that it took years to come to fruition. All of which makes me more eager to bring my love of the book to my viewing of the film.

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These days my (maybe dormant) hope lies in a scenario in which a Latina, whether she be a budding director, producer, writer, or cinematographer, comes across any one of my books and decides she is so enchanted with the material that she wants to bring it to life in a film or tv series. In another fantasy, a young Latina actor with ties to the industry reads Excavation and decides she wants to tackle the complicated role of young Wendy. I say my hope is maybe dormant because it’s not as though I’m living my life based on these scenarios playing out. I am, rather, focusing on the next writing projects I’ve laid out for myself and/or agreed to write this year (and attending to the energy I need to work on them).

Small, independent press made The Chronology of Water. An icon like Kristen Stewart still had a rough time getting the film made. Seeing the film is an act of support for art that falls outside the mainstream. And right now, we absolutely need art that falls outside the mainstream. If you count yourself as outside the mainstream and an artist? Take care, keep going, we need you.

Love and solidarity to all the troublemakers and whistleblowers out there.

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